Change is the only constant.- Heraclitus
Seasons change and so do we.
We change our clothes seasonally. We age. We may even decorate our homes differently. But for most of us, somehow we don’t seem to dance with the idea of change…we seem to fear it…and work hard at rejecting it.
So this week’s happy house rule is “accepting change is the only constant”… and inviting change into our homes. This time of year, the change in seasons, is a great time to do it.
I have a long rambling post to share with you. Then I got scared because I didn’t think I was making a point. Then I realised this is my own process – I start, I get stuck / scared and get upset that it’s not perfect, and so, rathre than stopping myself and deleting this blogpost, I have instead decided to take my own advice (our advice) and adopt a new habit … this week it’s to accept…and work with the seasons.
This shift of seasons is a great time to make our shifts.
We can change at any time, but changing at the same time as the world makes it even more powerful. Because we’re all doing it in sync…
It’s Autumn/Fall time here for me and it’s a time to let go of leaves. To “let go” of all the knowledge that Tip and I have been growing and to share it, however imperfect it may feel. Does nature ever say “that leaf wasn’t perfect”? Who knows, but she lets them fall all the same…and those leaves become the fodder from where she grows, and keep her warm over winter. So…here is my post. All of it.
It’s a new month. The seasons are changing. Nature certainly knows this and adapts accordingly. She gives us fruits that cool in summer, and roots that nourish and sustain in winter. And now we’ve moved into those in-between seasons. Autumn / Spring.
Perhaps you too are feeling an in-between phase in your life.
And in case this is too philosophical, bear with me, it’ll get practical too. I’ll also be talking about bringing the seasons into our homes: wardrobes, living rooms, bedrooms, kitchens, and workspaces too. But first…allow me to share some stuff on change.
I was wondering today, do we really fear change? I mean, hands up who doesn’t change their underwear?
So why do we fear it so much when we think about ‘changing’ certain things? Why do we reject or sabotage the changes we want to make?
Why does changing our mind feel so big? Why does changing our habits feel so challenging and scary (and don’t think for a second I don’t feel it. It does feel big and scary to me too!)? Why do we seemingly sabotage good habits? We talked about this a lot last week when we covered habits.
We all change anyway. If I’ve learned anything from my first (almost) year of being a mum it’s this:
Change happens anyway.
So I tell myself, “hey you, change happens anyway, you may as well accept it.” Of course I’m human and have old ingrained patterns so sometimes I do it kicking and screaming. (Like yesterday).
But even then, I’m (very slowly) learning to accept this as part of my current process. So I tried to cut it out mid-melt down. I apologised immediately WHILE saying the wrong things. And I slowed down and tried to understand why I was suddenly so stressed to begin with and break it into bite sized little steps. And I asked for help.
But still, another part of me is grasping for something bigger.
Accepting that change is the only constant for me is both liberating but so mind blowing…I’m only beginning to accept and understand it.
It means, literally, in every moment, things are in flux. It means in every moment we can shift. We can think and act differently. It means nothing, ever, is the same. At any one point. I mean it looks the same. And our brains are lazy enough to pretend it’s the same. But it isn’t.
We don’t see the change in seasons until the leaves change or the temperature drops. (This is also a good reason to be patient with yourself and others while they are going through changes.)
But if you were a farmer, or a surfer, you’d see the tide changing slightly, the sun rising at a slightly different time…if you stop to look closer, you’d notice it too.
We create boundaries so that we can deal with everything and it’s great. I don’t work very well unbounded, without any structure. But sometimes I grow out of my own structures. My boundaries and ways no longer serve me and if anything, hinder me. And instead of accepting a cycle has ended and allowing another to unfold………….I try to keep things as they are.
(I’ve done this frequently with my Bebe’s napping schedule even after he is showing me it’s not working anymore…)
Some shifts are choices and others are made for us (kicking and screaming or otherwise). But the principles are the same. In every moment, we can act differently.
Here’s one. Here’s another. Here’s another.
That diet you wanted to start? DON’T DO IT. Maybe instead, just try accept you’re changing. And create little new habits. Make better eating choices. Buy better food. Have good food on hand. Eat enough and regularly. Sleep enough and regularly. Exercise more.
Easy for me to say. Yes. But think of how much energy we put into NOT doing it. And beating ourselves up about it when the diet fails (followed by the bucket of ice cream to drown our sorrows in).
Some changes are harder and longer to shift, and take more energy – like when you turn a car round or take a long windy road back home. Others are quick and almost painless. The point is…
That change really is the only constant. We trap ourselves into thinking it isn’t, that it’s all fine. It works for a while. Until it doesn’t. Perhaps accept that change is THE constant makes going on with our lives easier somehow. Lighter somehow…?
I’m a thinking person and because of that, I find it easier to change my actions first. Change my home or life a bit, and let my brain catch up.
Now of course, some times are easier than others to make these changes, and this change of season, the months of September / October are a great time.
Naturally they represent the between times – times before big shifts in seasons – heat of summer when things slow down or the cold of winter when we hibernate. And for a lot of us they represent the calm before the storm of the silly holiday season.
So rather than getting too caught up in your head, maybe start with some simple actions. Bring the seasons in.
Southern Hemisphere. Bring in those flowers. Northern, cozy up your spaces with textiles like blankets on couches, quilts and linens.
Bring in those new habits you wanted to commit to.
Practical Changes Like:
- Wardrobe edits. Let go of things that no longer work (If you haven’t worn it in a 1-2years…it goes – unless it’s for special occasions)
- Pantry edits. Want to diet? Look to what’s in your kitchen and add things that are fresh and seasonal and easy to grab / prepare.
- Add fresh seasonal vegetables and fruits
- Add fresh seasonal flowers and shoots
- If it’s Autumn, add blankets and quilts and linens to your bedrooms and corners of your couch.
- Or, if it’s Spring coming in, change up your bedding and textiles to brighter and lighter
- Invite friends round for meals
- Create new rituals
So whether it’s Spring or Autumn/Fall for you, join us and commit to some new actions…
“September and October represent the “calm before the storm.” They are the absolute perfect months to clear out clutter and sort through the stacks [and more] before the holidays arrive in November and December. Just imagine a more peaceful, happy home during the year’s busiest season.” – Organized Audrey
Tip is going sugar free this month, I’m riding my bike more, and also meditating more…and we’re both also consciously adding the habit of letting people know what we do at Apartment Diet, being more clear and putting out there for the work and profit to make this business thrive. Even as we realise we have outgrown the current structures we have in place, our name and our offerings. Some things are still true. We are great coaches and ideas people (so we’re told), experienced at guiding people in person and virtually via Skype and email to make changes…and we love it.
Which brings us back to you:
Perhaps things have piled up on you. Perhaps you are feeling stuck at work or in your life. Perhaps you just know something’s go to give. Or you want to style your home to rent or sell. Or refresh your home. Or move on from a loved one or loss. Or…
The process is this: change your space <-> change your life. And guiding you along in these changes is what we do.
If you want to work with us to make some changes, even ones you can’t articulate yet, more concrete, structured and lasting…we have
8 6 coaching spots open for September, and 8 7 left for October.
It’s 5 sessions over 5 weeks and costs $349. 5 weeks is deliberate as in our experience, is the time needed to make those shifts last and those habits begin to stick. Or you prefer to go at your own pace and learn online, you can pre-book into our ecourse for $97 and be one of the first in when it launches Sept 29th.
To take advantage of either of these offers or go on the waiting list for coaching later in the year, contact us and our VA Elizabeth will schedule you in.