Change is the only constant.- Heraclitus

Seasons change and so do we.

We change our clothes seasonally. We age. We may even decorate our homes differently. But for most of us, somehow we don’t seem to dance with the idea of change…we seem to fear it…and work hard at rejecting it.

So this week’s happy house rule is “accepting change is the only constant”… and inviting change into our homes. This time of year, the change in seasons, is a great time to do it.

 

I have a long rambling post to share with you. Then I got scared because I didn’t think I was making a point. Then I realised this is my own process – I start, I get stuck / scared and get upset that it’s not perfect, and so, rathre than stopping myself and deleting this blogpost, I have instead decided to take my own advice (our advice) and adopt a new habit … this week it’s to accept…and work with the seasons.

This shift of seasons is a great time to make our shifts.

We can change at any time, but changing at the same time as the world makes it even more powerful. Because we’re all doing it in sync…

It’s Autumn/Fall time here for me and it’s a time to let go of leaves. To “let go” of all the knowledge that Tip and I have been growing and to share it, however imperfect it may feel. Does nature ever say “that leaf wasn’t perfect”? Who knows, but she lets them fall all the same…and those leaves become the fodder from where she grows, and keep her warm over winter. So…here is my post. All of it.

It’s a new month. The seasons are changing. Nature certainly knows this and adapts accordingly. She gives us fruits that cool in summer, and roots that nourish and sustain in winter. And now we’ve moved into those in-between seasons. Autumn / Spring.

Perhaps you too are feeling an in-between phase in your life.

And in case this is too philosophical, bear with me, it’ll get practical too. I’ll also be talking about bringing the seasons into our homes: wardrobes, living rooms, bedrooms, kitchens, and workspaces too. But first…allow me to share some stuff on change.

I was wondering today, do we really fear change? I mean, hands up who doesn’t change their underwear?

So why do we fear it so much when we think about ‘changing’ certain things? Why do we reject or sabotage the changes we want to make?

Why does changing our mind feel so big? Why does changing our habits feel so challenging and scary (and don’t think for a second I don’t feel it. It does feel big and scary to me too!)? Why do we seemingly sabotage good habits? We talked about this a lot last week when we covered habits.

We all change anyway. If I’ve learned anything from my first (almost) year of being a mum it’s this:

Change happens anyway.

So I tell myself, “hey you, change happens anyway, you may as well accept it.” Of course I’m human and have old ingrained patterns so sometimes I do it kicking and screaming. (Like yesterday).

But even then, I’m (very slowly) learning to accept this as part of my current process. So I tried to cut it out mid-melt down. I apologised immediately WHILE saying the wrong things. And I slowed down and tried to understand why I was suddenly so stressed to begin with and break it into bite sized little steps. And I asked for help.

But still, another part of me is grasping for something bigger.

Accepting that change is the only constant for me is both liberating but so mind blowing…I’m only beginning to accept and understand it.

It means, literally, in every moment, things are in flux. It means in every moment we can shift. We can think and act differently. It means nothing, ever, is the same. At any one point. I mean it looks the same. And our brains are lazy enough to pretend it’s the same. But it isn’t.

WHOA.

We don’t see the change in seasons until the leaves change or the temperature drops. (This is also a good reason to be patient with yourself and others while they are going through changes.)

But if you were a farmer, or a surfer, you’d see the tide changing slightly, the sun rising at a slightly different time…if you stop to look closer, you’d notice it too.

We create boundaries so that we can deal with everything and it’s great. I don’t work very well unbounded, without any structure. But sometimes I grow out of my own structures. My boundaries and ways no longer serve me and if anything, hinder me. And instead of accepting a cycle has ended and allowing another to unfold………….I try to keep things as they are.

(I’ve done this frequently with my Bebe’s napping schedule even after he is showing me it’s not working anymore…)

Some shifts are choices and others are made for us (kicking and screaming or otherwise). But the principles are the same. In every moment, we can act differently.

Every moment.

Here’s one. Here’s another. Here’s another.

That diet you wanted to start? DON’T DO IT. Maybe instead, just try accept you’re changing. And create little new habits. Make better eating choices. Buy better food. Have good food on hand. Eat enough and regularly. Sleep enough and regularly. Exercise more.

Easy for me to say. Yes. But think of how much energy we put into NOT doing it. And beating ourselves up about it when the diet fails (followed by the bucket of ice cream to drown our sorrows in).

Some changes are harder and longer to shift, and take more energy – like when you turn a car round or take a long windy road back home. Others are quick and almost painless. The point is…

That change really is the only constant. We trap ourselves into thinking it isn’t, that it’s all fine. It works for a while. Until it doesn’t. Perhaps accept that change is THE constant makes going on with our lives easier somehow. Lighter somehow…?

I’m a thinking person and because of that, I find it easier to change my actions first. Change my home or life a bit, and let my brain catch up.

Now of course, some times are easier than others to make these changes, and this change of season, the months of September / October are a great time.

Naturally they represent the between times – times before big shifts in seasons – heat of summer when things slow down or the cold of winter when we hibernate. And for a lot of us they represent the calm before the storm of the silly holiday season.

 So rather than getting too caught up in your head, maybe start with some simple actions. Bring the seasons in.

Southern Hemisphere. Bring in those flowers. Northern, cozy up your spaces with textiles like blankets on couches, quilts and linens.

Bring in those new habits you wanted to commit to.

Practical Changes Like:

• Wardrobe edits. Let go of things that no longer work (If you haven’t worn it in a 1-2years…it goes – unless it’s for special occasions)
• Pantry edits. Want to diet? Look to what’s in your kitchen and add things that are fresh and seasonal and easy to grab / prepare.
• Add fresh seasonal vegetables and fruits
• Add fresh seasonal flowers and shoots
• If it’s Autumn, add blankets and quilts and linens to your bedrooms and corners of your couch.
• Or, if it’s Spring coming in, change up your bedding and textiles to brighter and lighter
• Invite friends round for meals
• Create new rituals

So whether it’s Spring or Autumn/Fall for you, join us and commit to some new actions…

“September and October represent the “calm before the storm.” They are the absolute perfect months to clear out clutter and sort through the stacks [and more] before the holidays arrive in November and December. Just imagine a more peaceful, happy home during the year’s busiest season.” – Organized Audrey

Tip is going sugar free this month, I’m riding my bike more, and also meditating more…and we’re both also consciously adding the habit of letting people know what we do at Apartment Diet, being more clear and putting out there for the work and profit to make this business thrive. Even as we realise we have outgrown the current structures we have in place, our name and our offerings. Some things are still true. We are great coaches and ideas people (so we’re told), experienced at guiding people in person and virtually via Skype and email to make changes…and we love it.

Which brings us back to you:

Perhaps things have piled up on you. Perhaps you are feeling stuck at work or in your life. Perhaps you just know something’s go to give. Or you want to style your home to rent or sell. Or refresh your home. Or move on from a loved one or loss. Or…

The process is this: change your space <-> change your life. And guiding you along in these changes is what we do.

If you want to work with us to make some changes, even ones you can’t articulate yet, more concrete, structured and lasting…we have 8 6 coaching spots open for September, and 8 7 left for October.

It’s 5 sessions over 5 weeks and costs $349. 5 weeks is deliberate as in our experience, is the time needed to make those shifts last and those habits begin to stick. Or you prefer to go at your own pace and learn online, you can pre-book into our ecourse for $97 and be one of the first in when it launches Sept 29th.

To take advantage of either of these offers or go on the waiting list for coaching later in the year, contact us and our VA Elizabeth will schedule you in.

x nat

Images:  1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

This week is all about creating happy healthy habits. On Monday we shared the secret to breaking bad habits: create new ones (+ practice them).

It really is that simple.

Today I’d like to get even more personal and talk about our bedrooms, sleep and invite you into my own bedroom.

Yup. My bedroom…

Those of you who’ve been following us for a while may remember our happy house rule around bedrooms: design your bedroom for rest + romance. Welcome all of you who are new to here.

This rule came directly out of our work with clients. That is, starting with the bedroom is a great corner to start.

Like the old adage “clear your desk for good work”, a clear, uncluttered bedroom provides a lovely path into good sleep.

When there is literally less to stress you out in your bedroom, chances are you can get on with sleeping more easily – something your body so badly needs. After all, humans are not machines. We need rest. It’s where growth happens. Literally.

Sleep and stress are also related. I’m much happier when I’ve slept well, and am also much better equipped to making better decisions. On the contrary, I really don’t think very clearly when I haven’t slept well, and I tend to be a bit of a cranky asshole.

So one habit we often discuss with clients is to start with the bedrooms, and adding habits that lead to getting a good night sleep.

This means, but is not limited to taking 5minutes to:

• Clean those piles next to your bed
• Put away clothes
• Move laundry hamper into the bathroom
• Put on clean fresh sheets
• Make the bed
• Go to bed a bit earlier, even once a week
• Invest in a good mattress
• Unplug your bedroom – remove all screens, chargers…

…ah the last one. I snuck it in there on you.

For many of you, you’re probably reading this while caressing your phone / ipad gently and letting it know how much you love to watch / read / play with it before bed. Or how you love to work on it in bed.

You’re telling me “that’s fine for you but really, I couldn’t possibly.”

All fine, valid and reasonable. Except this.

Technology doesn’t really lead us to sleep all that great. In fact, screens seem to do the opposite of help us sleep.

There’s science to back me up. (See here and here for example).

Image sources: 1 – nat’s bedroom photographed by Asaf Kliger / 2 / 3 / 4

“The secret to breaking habits is this: Create + Practice a new one. Starting Now”

It’s Monday so that means a new Happy House Rules is beckoning you to play.

And this week, it’s about that sometimes pesky, sometimes scary, sometimes awesome “Habits”. And while I’m at, I’ll add another word that seems to be equally awesome, scary, pesky and awesome: Change.

For many of us, the words change and habits, when applied directly to us and the things that we need to be doing (as opposed to telling other people what to do), scare the living begeezus out of us, or cause us to bury our heads in the sand and pretend it’s not there. Or ignore it. Or find excuses…

Too hard, too big, too…too new, too different, too…unknown!

Most of us seem to choose the “better the devil we know, than the devil we don’t”. Even though we may hate something, the thought of gulp, having to change it, feels much much worse.

Well, what if I told you that it could be better. It will be better. But first, there’s a trick. It requires two things.

1. A New Habit –  perhaps like me you prefer the word “practice” ie A New Practice

2. Time – time to start, time to pass through the inevitable slump…move over the usual hump…time until it sticks.

Taken together, they are “Practicing a new habit”

Yup. That’s really all there is too it.

Of course there is a lot of other stuff going on in our heads and bodies to explain it, which I’ll come back to that in another blog post for later this week. There’s also some other stuff about how we fight the new habit. But really, when it comes down to it you just need to practice a new habit over time.

So, let’s allow me a little bit of time to tell you a little story and help this secret sink in a bit.

Let’s call it me and my bike.

Once upon a time, a guy gave a girl a bike. And the bike sat outside their house.

The End.

Kinda obscure story for a blogpost around habits in our homes and lives. Well, maybe. Give me a chance.

…The electric red bike was a gift from my Mr. It’s a great gift.

Those who know me well will know I have TALKED a lot about bike riding for years, but done very little of actually riding a bike. To date I have lived in 5 bike cities, yet until the Mr. gifted aforementioned bike never owned one. In fact, I never rode one much either. Maybe 5 times in 13 years. I should add, I am also an expert at sitting on the backs of other people’s bikes. And walking, everywhere. Or driving. Or hailing a cab. Or using public transport…

So let’s get to the heart of the matter. It’s not a money issue. I can and have always been able to afford to buy a bike. It’s not quite a skills issue either: that is, I can technically ride a bike. It’s just…I stopped when I was like 6 years old. Maybe 7. Probably just after my training wheels were removed. It’s not a trauma issue: I haven’t ever had an accident or anything. So it’s not like there is some bike-related-memory lurking in my past that I have to overcome. It’s not a time issue either. I mean, I’m sure I could find a few minutes a day to focus on myself and riding a bike.

Yet it IS a Fear issue. I’ll come right out and say it. Bike riding scares me. I’m afraid of riding a bike. Of the speed. Perhaps also of what might happen….it’s also probably a confidence issue. I’m not very good at it, so I don’t do it, so I’m not very good at it. Nice cycle I have going on there.

After a month of having the bike, the Mr confronted me and asked me “Why are you not riding your bike?” and countered all my responses with “You just need to ride it more”.

Now those of you who live with Mr./ Mrs  (or know anyone who loves you enough to know how to be really annoying) will know these type of questions and comments, however innocent their intention, have inherent in their design a large dose of a chemical drink called “how to piss you off” (Aussie slang for “make you really mad”).

Huge buckets of this “pissed off” drink will now flood your body and you will get defensive, angry or at best, quietly, perhaps even silently, defiantly defensive and walk off in a huff. You will explain, either to him or yourself, how you are trying. How it’s hard. How he doesn’t understand. How it’s scary.

There is however, a teeny other voice that we shan’t tell him about. The teeny whispering one that says, “Maybe he’s right?” “Why aren’t I riding this bike?”.

—

I guess I could have spent ages and tons of money on a psychologist and delve deeply into this. Or I could do what led Tip and I into starting Apartment Diet in the first place. Bypass my own head and do something PHYSICAL about it.

I was going about this the wrong way. I wasn’t applying what I know. Which is a secret that a lot of people before me and smarter than me know.

Don’t try and break a habit. Start a new one.

So I started a new habit.

My new story goes like this.

Once upon a time a guy gave a girl a bike. She rode it 3 times a week for 5minutes. She rode it to her favourite cafe once a week. And then soon, she rode it everywhere.

Story continues.

That is it. I started actually riding my bike.

I started with baby steps. Like, really baby steps. For the last month I have ridden the bike to yoga class around the corner. We’re talking a 10minute walk so a two minute bike ride. Which means 5minutes for me.

The first time I was sweating more than any exercise class would lead me to sweat. But the week later, I rode my bike to yoga again. Because one of my new habits for bike riding is riding my bike to this yoga class. And then the week after, just as it was going well, I chickened out. No problem. The old story is that. Old. I haven’t failed. All I have to do is continue on my NEW HABIT. Ride my bike again.

So I rode my bike again for 5minutes somewhere else. And reminded myself of why I like it.

I love that riding my bike means I don’t have to carry my heavy laptop. Or my yoga clothes. It means I get places quicker. It means I’m getting better at riding a bike.

—

Which brings us back to you…and habits.

This week is all about NEW HABITS. What new habits do you want to add to your life? Start today. Start now, with a corner. With 5minutes. With something physical.

Now it’s your turn. What new habit do you want to create? Start now.

Know there WILL be a time in the middle or even the beginning when your old habit will want to win over the new habit. Accept it and move on. Celebrate every little teeny weeny success that goes with this new habit. And allow time to do the work.

So off you go. Some ideas to get you started:

Use our 5min rule and commit to: – taking 5minutes to put your clothes away before bed / wash the dishes before bed / turn off devices earlier or whatever else can be done in 5minutes every day. If you miss one day, oh well, you have a whole other day filled with opportunities to take 5minutes to continue on your new habit path.

Use our live with plants rule and buy a plant and learn how to look after it. Practice the habit of watering it for 10seconds a week. (We have a list of our top 7 unkillable plants here). And if the plant is less than thriving, don’t use it as an excuses. Water it. Move it to a better position in your home. Call where you bought it and ask for instructions. Whatever.

And don’t forget our other rule #screwperfection.

Find a new habit and practice it.

One final comment while you’re thinking of habits. Tip and I test out everything on ourselves (and with a select few clients who agree to be guinea pigs).

We also know we fear change because we want to be excellent, immediately

Guess what. You won’t be. You may actually suck. That’s how we learn.

But then, a few weeks later you’ll suck a lot less. And a few weeks after that, you’ll be pretty good. And after that…well, you’ll forget this was a new habit because it will be your regular habit.

Now of course some habits take longer to take hold than others. In our experience, it’s one calender month. That’s 5 weeks. That’s why our coaching sessions run for 5weeks. And our courses. 5 weeks shouldn’t shouldn’t scare you, it should inspire you! You’re committing to something new and it really only takes a month for it to kick in. And if you keep practicing, to last! Make the process as fun and rewarding as possibly.

So… once more, just in case it hasn’t sunk in yet:

“The secret to breaking habits  Create a new one…

…and then keep practising the new one. Celebrate your successes. No matter how small. And let time do the work.”

PSST I’ll let you in on another secret: from September 1st Tip and I are taking this business up a notch. We had a huge insight into just how big changing your space is. It changes lives. That’s what we do. We create happy healthy homes as a way to change people’s lives. As a result, we are being very careful with our time. For the months of September – December we will be taking ONLY 5 clients per calendar month each. That’s it. That’s guiding 5 lucky clients globally each every monthto make the big changes they seek, to creating a happy healthy home + life. It costs $350.

Contact us if you want to get in early.

—

Image sources

“All you need to: feel happier and healthier, lower your blood pressure, increase your creativity, improve your air quality, soften a space, enliven a corner and generally making your home look nicer is this: live with some plants”

“what is so scary about a little green plant?”

Image courtesy of Carolina

This week’s happy house rule is all about challenging you to decorate with plants and add live plants to your home. Before you tell me about why you can’t, keep reading and be inspired…and hey, I challenged you – are you really telling me you can’t have a teeny green living plant in your home?

—

I recently helped a couple move into a new home. In addition to decluttering and letting go, they also asked me to make recommendation for layouts and tips for making their rental into a happy healthy home. While they followed almost every suggestion they kept blocking me on one of the simplest: adding green plants. This was especially important for them as their space needed softening and one of them had a dust allergy. When confronted as to why they hadn’t bought a plant they said it was that they would forget to water them and that they had black thumbs.

It made me realise that a lot of us are not decorating with plants for some fear that we will kill it or it’s too much hassle… and I personally hate the idea that something so wonderful, healthy, inexpensive and easy to look after (create a new habit it takes 10seconds every week) isn’t found in all homes.

I explained all the benefits: clean air, good energy, lowered blood pressure, more creativity, pretty… and recommended these two plants: Golden Pathos and Fiddle Leaf – because they thrive on being ignored, not watered too much and thus are virtually unkillable…and of course they are great for air purifying and purrrty.

Still not convinced, self-confessed plant killer Anna Dorfman over at Door16 has had her Fiddle Leaf Tree (pic by Anna below) for over two years “and it’s still alive. Miracles!”

So this week our happy house rule is ALL about decorating with plants and challenging you to buy and look after even a teeny one, ask the place you bought it from what amount of light it needs and how often it needs to be watered and how much + pop a reminder to water it in your phone calender on repeat. It’s the simple…it seems so small but the benefits are so huge and plants really do go a long way in making a happier healthy home.

If you’re still toeing the line please stay tuned for more blogposts later this week and in the meantime, be inspired by Stephanie Stamatis (below) and at least put a piece of plant in water in your home today.

Images by Stephanie Stamatis: 1 2 3

Go on, we challenge you to decorate with plants!

PS if you follow you us on instagram or twitter tag us @apartmentdiet with #happyhouserules #plantchallenge and show us how this challenge inspired you or how you use plants to decorate…we’ll be featuring our favourites throughout the week.