Make Mistakes

• • Happy House Rules, Products • No Comment

This week’s #happyhouserules is about overcoming decision paralysis – and making mistakes.

make misteaks monsieur cabinet

A common barrier that Tip & I hear about over & over is “What if I make a mistake?” or “I’m afraid I’ll choose the wrong colour, fabric” etc etc. These types of questions often serve to paralyze us from making any decision at all.

Our answer is simple. “So, what if you do?”

Some decisions are admittedly harder to fix then others, some are easier to ‘live with and design around’ but most are, at the end of the day, just a mistake. Sometimes one that adds character and was the best mistake you ever made or sometimes one that needs to be painted over, or sold.

Yes, you may have to buy new paint or a different rug. You may lose a bit of money. (Generally it’s only a little bit because most goods can be returned/sold). It’s not the end of the world nor something you can’t deal with. It’s just another step in your learning journey towards understanding your true style and what your home needs.

It’s much more freeing to just shrug and allow yourself to try things and yes, make the occasional misteak.

The funny part is that once you allow yourself…you don’t seem to make as many. Or maybe it’s just that when you do make one that your attitude has changed and you don’t consider it a mistake at all anymore. Maybe you’re just ballsier and more willing to ask a store if you can try out that rug in your home and return it if it doesn’t work rather than worrying and making do with no rug at all.

Of course things go wrong. You’ll try a new shade of paint. It’s awful. (Tip actually painted her kitchen wall electric blue for a brief moment – wrong for her space in so many ways!). But because you’ve accepted that this is part of trying things out when the mistake does happen you shrug, laugh and say oops…well that’s not going to work… and go buy another can of paint.

So, what purchase / change, ahem ‘mistake’, have you been avoiding? Off you go and make it!

—

(Image by Monsieur Cabinet – you can buy it as a poster too)

As always, connect with us if you would like more guidance, we offer 1-1 coaching and courses.

Mel’s Living Room Rethink

• • Before & After, Happy House Rules, Interiors • 1 Comment

mel bomba after 4

“What you have done for me is to ‘RETHINK’ my space. My space was beautiful in bits – which showed on Instagram but as a whole it wasn’t all together…you helped me with that. Now my living room has a sense of harmony.”

I’d been following Mel Bombardiere’s gorgeous feed on Instagram for a while. Like all of us I was thinking “Oh, what a gorgeous house she has” (read: envy, jealous, mmm love her style). Then one day she put up a picture of her kitchen (below) and started complaining about her living room and I was like “What? You?” and my second thought was “I can help you with that”.

So I asked Mel if maybe I could help and she emailed me with some pictures of her living room. “Ever since my rant about my living area I’ve been on a mission…. My biggest problem is making decisions and spending money”. “It’s a funny situation because I’m unsure of how I need help … but I’m keen to get my space sorted”.

This is the type of question that has us written all over all over it! Often there’s not enough money for new furniture or you’re stuck with what you want BUT that doesn’t need to be a limitation.
mel bomba before

Tip & I have been running our online courses for the last 2 years and have always wanted to do it as coaches 1 on 1 – you know go into homes and help people get started or resolve their challenges at home (around design, layout, clutter … or achieving a general feeling). We always thought it would work via email but we needed a guinea pig…and suddenly there was Mel based all the way over there in Australia!

So, over email I took Melissa through a process to get her clear on her goals which she established were “complete” & “inviting”.

First things first, we dealt with the living room layout.
Before:
mel before 2
After:
mel bomba after 1
“One of our first conversations was about movement and how movement can help us see things in a different way – that helped me a lot! Moving the lounge and then living in the space for a week made me realize that the new spot brought a sense of harmony to the space – even though I had tried the lounge in that space before it didn’t work because I couldn’t see the space for what it could be – which leads back to our conversations.”
mel bomba after 3
“The biggest impact from our conversations was that they made me totally rethink my space.”
mel bomba after 2
Most importantly, it works for her and her family and feels good!
Not only that, the changes in the living room had flow on effects all around the house. Mel also changed her bedroom, created a kids corner and her husband built a gorgeous cubby in their backyard. Mel just emailed me to say Nina’s room is up next.

Thanks Mel for letting me into your inbox, life & home – and for being the best guinea pig ever!

PS Those of you joining our #happyhouserules project on Instagram will notice that one of our big rules is movement – Mel’s room changed by moving her couch and letting it sit there for a week…so go on, move something big!

Of course, if you want more personal help and someone to guide you through getting clear on what you want from your space and getting you moving using what you have… before you start spending tons of money on new storage or a new couch you may not need drop us a line – now that we know it works we’re offering this service globally… and in the meantime enjoy her transformation!

 

all images by mel

Go on, Remove 1 Thing

• • Courses, Happy House Rules • No Comment

OK let’s start off our #happyhouserules project with something small. If you want to play along, take pics & tag us on Instagram @apartmentdiet & #happyhouserules as well!

It’s spring here so it’s a natural time for clearing (and if you’re playing along in the Southern hemisphere, a natural time for shedding).

Our number one rule is ‘start with a corner’ so…go to a corner of your house (do you dare go to the one you hate most?) and free up that space…remove 1 thing.

remove 1 thing happyhouserules

Maybe it’s those old magazines you’re keeping just in case, maybe a shirt that you don’t ever wear. Perhaps it’s just that you have too many toys that your kids don’t use anymore. Whatever it is, go on and remove 1 thing and revel in the knowledge that you are making space for something new to come in.

…and if you’re still stuck, here are 37 ‘1 things’ the Huffington Post encourages us to get rid of right now.

We’re here doing it with you!

So remove 1 thing – FREE IT and let it be loved by someone else. Donate it, recycle it, give it away or we also give you permission to toss it in the trash if it has gone past its useful life.

PS For those of you who really want to kick into Spring/Autumn clearing, keep repeating this process of looking at a corner and removing things all around your house (one corner at a time) and let us know how you felt or contact us with any questions about this rule.

Join our #happyhouserules project

• • Courses, Happy House Rules • No Comment

Quick update, we’ve been busy working on our “Happy House Rules” book & have created a project to go along with it here, and on Instagram & Facebook.

“We’ve been busy getting ready for our #happyhouserules project. Over the last years we’ve been distilling top “rules” or rather habits & ways to live by to make homes & happier and healthier for a book… And we’re ready to share them! We’ll start releasing our #happyhouserules for you to join in using our hashtag (so we can show you off!) We’d also love you to contribute and share your tips for a happy, healthy house and ask us for tips on things you need or are stuck on! Just tag is @apartmentdiet & use the hash tag …. Ooh can’t wait! xo nat & tip ps see you later today with our first “rule” so we can all kickstart spring/autumn clearing together!”

We’d love you to join in…and we can’t wait for you to share your photos, too!

So: What are your favourite happy house rules / habits you’ve learned? Where do you need the most help? Where are you stuck? Leave us a comment here on instagram.

Stay tuned & join us in creating a happier, healthier home!

 

Can you help my wife / husband / partner?

• • Courses, Happy House Rules • No Comment

“Can you help my wife / husband / partner …?”

yes

If Tip & I had a dollar for each time we’ve been asked this (also about roommates, family members, relatives etc)…well let’s say we’d be able to take a very nice vacation from work.

Of course the answer is yes – we’re going to trial & run some partners courses later in the year and already offer coaching on this – but more on that later at the bottom of this post.

Let me digress for a moment:

I once met a happy Swami. He is a friend of my father in law’s, who knew him well before his incarnation as Swami. Over dinner he was talking about mantras and the like. After dinner I said “Oh, can you give [my Mr.] a mantra?”. He looked me in the eye and asked me “Do you have one?”. “No,” I answered truthfully, and tried to bring back the conversation to him giving my Mr. one. “Perhaps you would like one?” he said simply.

This story really did happen to me and here’s the thing. Often we want the people around us to change. Maybe they’re messy, maybe they’re too neat. Maybe they give everything away or have a closet filled to the brim with stuff that doesn’t or hasn’t seen the light of day but they can neither bare to part with it and complain daily that they have nothing to wear. Maybe all the house work has fallen on you. Maybe they have these really annoying habits (they probably do…but guess what, it’s likely so do you). Maybe they talk about things you don’t like or have opinions you don’t like…

I’m no Swami so I get caught up in this thinking often (especially around my little one’s naptime) but it comes back to the simplest of things:

We can’t change people. We can only change ourselves.

(Hey you rolling your eyes, I know I know, I’m rolling mine with you…)

andy goldsworthy

It is true though. But, and this is a big but. There is also something extra that I (& Tip) think is often left out of this sentence – that we can also change the environment around us.

That is, we can create conditions in our environments that make the changes we are seeking more likely. It doesn’t have to be a major change either. Sometimes we just need to move a little.

This is one of the secrets we’ve uncovered through apartment diet. It’s not magic exactly but sometimes it feels like it.

The secret: It’s easier to make the changes we are seeking in our physical spaces than in our heads.

It works like this:
it’s really hard to change your own mind about something. And even harder to change someone else’s. But we can almost certainly move a couch we share for a week (or an hour).

More than just acting positive, what if the physical space you shared was more positive? What if your side of the closet and lots of other areas of the house that are within your control (which can also read as your partner doesn’t care either way) change to exemplify the feelings you would like to convey?

“And when things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew.
Just go right along, you’ll start happening too!”

– Dr Seuss, Oh the places You’ll Go

I’d like to add, somewhat ‘miraculously’ – they’ll start happening too.
We’ve had partners suddenly help. We’ve seen partners ‘spontaneously’ build treehouses and cubby’s. Renovate their offices. Mount furniture on walls. Paint walls. Throw out stuff…Kids too.

This type of change…it’s contagious.

So what changes do you want to make to your homes and lives?

PS Yes of course we can help! It just may be that unless they want to do it, or do it with you, we start by helping & working with you. Contact us & let’s start.

 

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January cleanse

• • Happy House Rules, Interiors • 1 Comment

January. I have to admit, I LOVE January and the new year in general. It always feels like a clean slate to me and it’s usually a great time to get organised, clear some physical, digital and mental space (both at home and at work) and to plan the year ahead.

You’ve probably already started something, whether it be a “dry” alcohol free January or quitting sugar for a month or some other health related resolution(s) BUT what about your space? Doesn’t it deserve a “cleanse” too? Just like our bodies, our homes also suffer from our busier and busier lives and end up with unsightly bumps and bulges where they shouldn’t be! So, it’s time to also give them a little attention and a quick clean up.

There are a lot of easy options or little things that you could start with so I thought I would start with what I’m doing right now…hopefully it gets you inspired – we’d love to hear your ideas of quick little things that have a big impact so comment away or even send us some pictures or your befores & afters.

 

My cleanse (besides reducing my sugar and dairy intake!) involves:

1. A Digitial Cleanse

– I am going through my (hundreds of – eek) photos and deciding what the best ones are and DELETING the rest.
– Old e-mails, files, bookmarks, text messages etc are being reviewed then deleted or, where necessary, archived.
– The last, but definitely not least, part of this is to BACK UP what you want to keep. An external storage device and/or something in the cloud is highly recommended!

2. A Physical Space Cleanse

a. Work
– Just like your digital files, do the same with your physical ones … go through pieces of paper, do the filing that’s piled up across the year and THROW out items that are no longer relevant.
– If you’re like me and own your business, throw out any items that you no longer need to hold for tax purposes or are no longer relevant. If you’re not sure, usually it’s OK to scan and file some items digitally rather than hold on to paper.

b. Home
– Usually this is a lot bigger than your office so you’ll have to devote more time to this. I like to get the whole family in on the action, so the kids have been involved in sorting their books and toys (we usually do this in early December, to make room for Santa to bring new things, otherwise he can’t – works like a charm … we’ll deal with the whole truth about Santa thing when they’re older, hehe), hubs is going through his “man” stuff (to be honest he has clothes and a teeny tiny cupboard) and well, the rest is for me. Most of our home is looking good but I seem to attract paper like moths to a flame so that’s where I’m focusing on for January.

I really have noticed that when things are organised that I achieve more and I’m much happier – and recent studies have actually shown this happiness link too.

Just Start

The best way to approach a cleanse is to take it step by step or in small chunks. As we always say “Just start … with a corner” (or a table top, or drawer etc). Plan some uninterrupted time to devote to a small task and focus on that until it’s done (this is important – started but unfinished items all over the place will only make things worse, not better!). Work quickly and keep a “don’t know” pile to help you work quickly. For most things, you’ll know exactly what to do with them … the don’t know pile you can tackle at the end. Do what you need to spur you on, whether it’s great music to dance and clean to or catching up on some TV series while you delete your files (yes, that’s what I’m doing – love Netflix!).

Once you’ve removed all the unnecessary items, you may find that you need to rethink your storage. More on storage and making the most of every inch of your space in an upcoming post! In the interim, good luck and happy clean, tidy cleared spaces to you!

 

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